Binge Drinking Epidemic Among Underage Drinkers

It’s always been typical for college-age kids to have beer “keggers” or drink too much hard alcohol at parties, getting tipsy or even passing out from the imbibing. Frowned upon by authorities, it was largely a harmless activity as long as there were no automobiles involved.

That has all changed with the popularity of “binge drinking” by underage youth. Many hospital emergency rooms are seeing young people arriving with blood alcohol levels in the mid-.3s and even .4, which is four to five times the legal limit.

“That’s the level at which 50% of  people die,” says Dr. Mary Claire O’Brien, an emergency medicine doctor  and assistant professor at Wake Forest University School of Medicine in North Carolina. “Ten years ago we only saw those levels in chronic alcoholics.”

Soda Pop with a “Kick”

The reason is that adolescents don’t consume alcohol for the same reason as adults. Their goal is not to sit around and enjoy a drink or two, but to get as drunk in as little time as possible. Unfortunately, now there are many more ways to accomplish this. The alcohol beverage industry as developed new recipes for combining more alcohol with caffeine, while appealing to the “soda pop” taste preferences of young people, has caused a huge increase in overdoses. In addition, the shift from beer to hard alcohol among teens and young adults has exacerbated the problem.

Even social media sites, such as Facebook, have contributed to the problem, as kids share high-alcohol-content drink recipes and their exploits with binge drinking with their Facebook friends.

This extreme drinking isn’t rare, either. According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC), about 90% of all teen alcohol consumption occurs in the form of binge drinking!

41% of high school seniors say they’ve had an alcoholic drink within the last 30 days, and by the time these kids are in college that number jumps to 72%.

Alcohol and Caffeine: A Dangerous Combination

The recent craze of combining alcohol with highly caffeinated energy drinks is a recipe for disaster. “The caffeine blocks the part of alcohol that makes you sleepy and might otherwise cause you to pass out,” says Dr. O’Brien. “This enables you to drink far more than you normally would, raising your blood alcohol level to dangerous heights.”

Four Loko, one of the most popular products to hit the market in the last few years, has caused so many problems that the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) stepped in and forced the manufacturers of that and other similar products to remove the caffeine. Four Loko has been reformulated and is back on the store shelves. It is still the equivalent of drinking four or five beers.

Drinking Games

Young people are turning to hard liquor more, and away from beer, especially in drinking games and contests. Shots of hard liquor are far more intoxicating due to the much higher alcohol content, and the fact that the undiluted alcohol hits the stomach and gets into the bloodstream extremely quickly. While drinking beer would take quite a while to affect the binge drinker, shots of hard liquor can almost immediately be felt. For those participating in drinking games, that is the whole point.

What Parents Can Do

If you’re worried that your teen may be binge drinking, consider this:

• Know the warning signs. Signs of extreme drinking include a drop in grades, changes in behavior and mood, a new set of friends, memory lapses, and difficulty concentrating

• Have a talk. Ask your kids what kinds of experiences they’re having, make your personal values clear, and calmly lay out the risks.

• Establish a code word. Agree on a phrase they can say if they are in an uncomfortable situation and need to give you a signal to come and get them, no questions asked.

Sources: Parade Magazine, CDC, FDA

Congress Debating Further Restrictions on Teen Drivers

While all states require a restricted driver's license at age 16, a bill by New York Senator Kirsten Gillibrand would require all states set 18 years old as the minimum age for a driver's license with no restrictions. States that don't comply would lose precious federal highway funds.

Sen. Gillibrand is pushing the bill because of the high rate of serious accidents among teenage drivers. National accident statistics show that 16- to 19-year-old drivers have the highest rate of serious accidents and traffic violations of any age group. In addition, the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety has found that automobile accidents are the leading cause of death among U.S. teens. In 2008 alone, more than 4,000 teenagers were killed in car accidents!

The Gillibrand bill would require all 50 states to adopt a three-stage licensing system. At 16, youths could get a learner's permit, allowing them to drive ONLY when accompanied by a licensed driver 21 or older. After a waiting period of at least 6 months, they could qualify for an intermediate license, would would bar nighttime driving and prohibit drivers from carrying more than one friend at a time, unless accompanied by a 21-year-old licensed driver. At the age of 18, they could qualify for an unrestricted license.

The bill has resulted in complaints from teens and some parents that the increased restrictions will be difficult for suburban and rural families, who rely on cars for transportation.

David Snyder, vice president and associate general counsel of the American Insurance Association, responds that "safety is far more important than convenience" and that most parents agree when they hear the data regarding how dangerous teen driving is. The insurance industry's bigger problem will be House Republicans, who are reluctant to take control of licensing from the individual states.

In Washington state, a learner's permit can be obtained at 15, and a restricted license at 16 years old. A full, unrestricted license is available at 17 if the teen driver maintains a perfect driving record the first year, or if not, when they turn 18.

Some Teen Driving Statistics (2008 is the latest data available)

    •    Motor vehicle crashes are the leading cause of death among 15- to 20-year-olds.
    •    16-year-olds have higher crash rates than drivers of any other age.
    •    16-year-olds are 3 times more likely to die in a motor vehicle crash than the average of all other drivers.
    •    63% of teenage passenger deaths in 2008 occurred in vehicles driven by another teenager.
    •    81% of teenage motor vehicle crash deaths in 2008 were passenger vehicle occupants.
    •    The number of drivers ages 15-20 involved in fatal crashes totaled 5,864 in 2008.
    •    In 2006 (latest data available) crashes involving 15- to 17-year-olds cost more than $34 billion nationwide in medical treatment, property damage and other costs, according to an AAA analysis.
    •    In states with GDL programs that include at least five of the most important elements, there was a 20% reduction in fatal crashes involving 16-year-old drivers.

Sources: http://www.congress.org/news/2011/04/01/a_notso_sweet_16

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drivers_license_in_the_United_States

AAA comes on board with teen Driving.AAA.com

Parents of teens: Fear not once your young one is ready to get behind the wheel.

AAA wants to make the driving experience a little easier on parents and less confusing to teenagers. It has launched TeenDriving.AAA.com, to help parents navigate the often confusing process of teaching teens to drive and get their driver permit and license.

The interactive site helps parents and teens get state-specific rules and information on preparing to drive (pre-permit) through the learner’s permit and solo driving.

The site features AAA StartSmart, a series of online newsletters and webisodes based on the National Institutes of Health’s Checkpoints program, which helps parents improve teen driver safety and is being offered nationally for the first time. Some of the topics covered in AAA StartSmart’s 18 newsletters and webisodes include nighttime driving, distracted driving, alcohol and other drugs, and parent-teen driving agreements.

Parents will find information about Washington's graduated driver licensing system, selecting a driving school and choosing the right vehicle for their teens.

Fatality statistics for teen drivers drop, here is why.

ATLANTA -- Far fewer people are dying in car crashes with teens at the wheel, but it's not because teenagers are driving more cautiously. Experts say laws are tougher, and cars and highways are safer.

Fatal car crashes involving teen drivers fell by about a third over five years, according to a new federal report that credits tougher restrictions on younger drivers.

The number of deaths tied to these accidents dropped from about 2,200 in 2004 to 1,400 in 2008, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said.

The CDC looked at fatal accidents involving drivers who were 16 or 17. There were more than 9,600 such incidents during the five-year span, and more than 11,000 people died, including more than 4,000 of the teen drivers and more than 3,400 of their passengers.

The report is being published in Friday's issue of the CDC's Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report.

The rate of such fatal crashes has been declining since 1996. Experts credit a range of factors, including safer cars with air bags and highway improvements, which reduce the risk of death.

The number of non-fatal accidents involving drivers 16 and 17 years old has been dropping as well - by 31 percent from 2004 through 2008, according to government figures.

The decline is similar to the 36 percent drop in fatal crashes reported in the new CDC report.

Experts say a chief reason is that most states have been getting tougher on when teens can drive and when they can carry passengers.

"It's not that teens are becoming safer," said Russ Rader, spokesman for the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety, an Arlington, Va.-based research group funded by auto insurance companies.

"It's that state laws enacted in the last 15 years are taking teens out of the most hazardous driving situations," such as driving at night or with other teens in the car, he said.

Graduated driver's licensing programs, as they are called, began appearing in 1996, and 49 states now have them. Some are stricter than others, which may be one reason death rates vary by state, Rader said.

The CDC found that Wyoming had the highest death rate, with about 60 traffic fatalities involving 16- and 17-year-old drivers per 100,000 people that age. New York and New Jersey, which have rigorous driving restrictions on teens, had the lowest rates, about 10 per 100,000.

Wyoming's driver's license laws are laxer than some other states. For example, 16-year-olds are allowed to drive until 11 p.m., or in some cases even later, while other states force them off the roads starting at 9 p.m.

The author of the report, CDC epidemiologist Ruth Shults, said rural states such as Wyoming tend to have higher rates of traffic deaths. One problem is that remote stretches of road are hard to reach quickly by ambulance, and even harder to get a critically injured person to a trauma center, experts say.

Lorrie Pozarik, a consultant to Wyoming state government on traffic safety issues, said the state ranks poorly in seat-belt use. A love of pickup trucks has a lot to do with that.

"People feel like, 'I'm in a pickup, I don't need a belt,'" Pozarik said. "Our No. 1 fatal crash is a single-vehicle rollover. It happens to be the one crash where a seat belt is most effective when it comes to saving your life.

"The bottom line is that we have no perception of risk in Wyoming," Pozarik continued. "You're driving along the highway, there isn't a car in sight. You can see 10 miles in 20 directions, and you're sort of sitting back and cruising."

In New York, the driver's license restrictions can at times be annoying, said Ali Janicki, a 17-year-old high school senior in the town of North White Plains.

Janicki had a "junior" license when she was 16, which restricted her from driving after 9 p.m. and from driving with more than one other youth in the car. She broke the rules a few times, giving her sister and a friend a ride home from school, or driving home from a movie after 9.

Sometimes, she also needed a parent to drive her to nighttime parties. "It kind of bugged me," she said. "But I understand why."

She said she was nearly in an accident Thursday, but blamed another - older - driver's error. "I think older people, past about 40, should have to take a test and make sure their eyes are still working the same way," she said.

Tips in Buying auto Insurance for TEEN DRIVERS

Teenagers are unfortunately the face of several statistics in the car insurance industry. The leading killer of young adults ages 15 to 20 is car crashes. Compared to adults ages 25 to 64, these young adult drivers are three times as likely to become involved in a fatal car accident. Also, the younger the driver, the more accidents are caused. Statistically, 16-year-olds have a crash rate three times as high as 19-year-olds and six times as high as drivers in their early 20s. Adding a teenage driver to your car insurance plan can more than double the cost of what you pay for your car insurance. However, there are ways that you and your teenager can lower the cost of your teenage driver’s insurance.

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1. Receiving Good Grades
Your teenager receiving a B or better grade point average can result in a discount on your auto insurance ranging from 5 percent up to as much as 25 percent. This discount stems from the studies which correlate good students with being responsible drivers. By performing well in school, your teenager is showing to your insurance company that they take responsibility seriously and will not be large risks on the road.

2. Taking Driver’s Education Courses
If your child takes a driver’s education course in high school or through a company, this can also decrease car insurance for teenagers. Although insurance companies vary on the discount amount and the course approval, the discounts can range up to 15 percent. These courses can show your teenage driver the ethics of driving and the rules of driving on the roads. The cost of car insurance for young drivers can be decreased and they will become safer drives with the help of these courses.

3. Buying a Safe Car
There are many types of cars on the market today, including small cars, trucks, sport cars, and SUVs. All of those cars are unreliable or dangerous for your teenager to drive. Small cars do not have good protection in an accident, trucks and SUVs are prone to rollovers, and sport cars can discourage safety.

To help lower your insurance rate, consider purchasing a safer car for your teenager to drive. To find a safe car to lower car insurance for teens, look for a car equipped with airbags. Airbags will help save the life of your teenager in the event of an accident, and may qualify for a premium discount on your insurance. If your car also comes with a safety alarm, this can also be eligible for a percentage off on your insurance.

4. Enlisting in Safe Driver Programs
Enlisting in a safe driver program offered by your insurer will kill two birds with one stone. The completed program will offer a discount of up to 5 percent on the insurance, as well as instructing teenagers on the perils of drinking and driving. They will learn the consequences of running red lights or stop signs as well as speeding. Even if your insurance company does not provide a decrease in your automobile insurance for teens, this will help in the future when your driver is on the road. A few speeding tickets or minor accident caused by a teenage driver can send your auto insurance through the roof. By taking this preemptive measure, you can stop the risk of that happening.

5. Driving an Older Car
Insurance companies tend to give lower rates for teenagers driving old and heavy cars. Records show that older cars are less prone to accidents and harder to drive recklessly than newer models, which can encourage customers to remove collision coverage from their insurance policies. With a safer old car and the extra fee removed, this can decrease the cost of the insurance. In addition, some companies tend to assign the most expensive insured driver—your teenage child—to the most expensive insured car. To counteract this and save money, consider buying an older car for your teenager. Even if it is not used most of the time, it will still be let you end up with lower car insurance payments.

Always compare rates between insurance companies when adding a new teenage driver to your car insurance. If another company is offering a better deal than your current insurer, it may be in your best interest to go with the new insurers. Be sure to teach your teenage driver responsibility on the road through safety courses, and your car-insurance-paying wallet will be sure to thank you.

Cruise control has it's advantages but can be dangerous!

Cruise Control Driving
Cruise control can be used to automatically control the speed in your vehicle (usually over 25-35 miles per hour) without keeping your foot on the accelerator. It is a great tool to prevent driver fatigue, speeding, and help with fuel economy during long trips on flat, straight roads and highways. Cruise control can cause accidents if you use it improperly or in hazardous road conditions such as city streets, heavy traffic, hills, winding roads, and wet, slippery roads.

Controlling the speed of your car with your fingertips on cruise control lets you take your foot off the accelerator and rest, but remember, you still control the vehicle steering and braking. Stay alert while you drive. Fatigue and a false sense of security can lead to a lack of attention and an accident. Keep your brain engaged in your driving; scan the road ahead for traffic, obstacles, and changing road conditions.

Read your vehicle owner’s manual on safely operating the cruise control for your vehicle. Heed manufacturer’s warnings about cruise control use. Leave the cruise control button off unless you intend to use it. If you accidentally activate cruise control, it could startle you into losing control of the vehicle.

Set your cruise control speed at a legal, safe speed for the road and the current driving conditions. Always wear your seatbelt. During cruise control, your foot may take a rest from the accelerator, but keep both feet flat on the driver’s side floor and ready for braking or maneuvering if you need to suddenly slow or emergency stop. Don’t lounge, curl your foot up underneath you, or put it up on the dashboard, windowsill, etc. while you drive.

Don’t use your cruise control when the road is wet and slippery due to heavy rain, hail, snow, ice, or other conditions. If your wheels begin to skid and you don’t step on the brake to stop, the continued acceleration can cause you to overdrive the road conditions and lose wheel traction and control of the vehicle. If you do step on the brake to stop, slow, or even turn off the cruise control, the change in tire speed can also cause the wheels to slip, lose traction and skid out of control. If there is heavy rainfall, water puddles, and a slippery road surface, hydroplaning and serious accidents can occur.

Note that vehicles equipped with Electronic Stability Control can alter the wheel speed for better traction, but read the owner’s manual to see if cruise control is safe in slippery road conditions.

Cruise control on hills and winding roads can be hazardous. On hills, it is best to manually control your speed using the accelerator and brake. Cruise control may not accelerate your vehicle properly up a hill, making you a slow-moving hazard. A steep downhill grade can cause your vehicle to speed up faster than the cruise control setting and safe road speeds. Watch your speedometer and manually accelerate and brake as needed. On twisting and winding roads, brake and accelerate into and out of the turns. With cruise control on, you could approach a turn at an unsafe speed and lose control.

Using cruise control in traffic and on city streets with lights and stop signs can be tedious, frustrating, and unsafe. In these situations, you need to reset your cruise control each time you brake and it is unlikely you would be driving at the minimum speeds needed for cruise control. It is best to manually control your vehicle in traffic and city streets and leave cruise control for long journeys on dry, straight, and wide-open highways.


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A mother's loss

Every so often it is good to get a dose of reality, this touched our hearts and souls. Please read and learn. Our blessings to Barbara Andrews and family and we pass along your story to our readers.

Barbara Andrews lost her daughter, Kimberly, in an SUV crash with another teen driving on June 12, 2002. Barbara now speaks to high school defensive driving classes in the hopes that this moving story will impress other teens with the need to drive safely and think about consequences of their actions ... and so that Kimberly's tragic death will not have been in vain.

You may also want to visit Kimberly's web site at www.KimberlyAndrews.com to learn more about Barabara, Kimberly and the entire Andrews family.
You can also hear Barbara's interview with us by clicking here.
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If you were to pass me in the halls or on the street, you would see that I am smiling; I am laughing; I am going about my day to day commitments and living my life. Things must be going well – no worries, no stress. That’s how it looks to the world outside. But, I feel invisible. Don’t they know, can’t they tell, can anyone see my pain…

I am a bereaved parent – that is the term they use. It doesn’t really represent who I am. I am a wife, a mother of 3, a professional. I am a parent who lost a part of myself almost 5 years ago, when my oldest, my only daughter was killed in a car accident. She was a passenger in an SUV. With the blink of an eye, our lives were turned upside down, inside out – never to be the same. The death of your child, no matter the circumstance, is devastating. Your future is changed forever. It is not the natural order of things.

As a parent, there is guilt and regret. You question your parenting and your sanity. You relive that day, those hours, over & over again. Your mind play tricks on you – if only this or that had occurred, the outcome would be different. No matter what you think, what you wish for, the outcome is the same – your precious child is dead – and you and your family must find a way to go on with your lives without them. So much easier said then done.

Yes, I am smiling, I am laughing and I am going about my day to day commitments and living my life. I have to. My husband and sons need me. I can’t help my Kimberly anymore.

Today, with a heavy heart, I am here to walk you through a few days of my family’s life. Similar to most family’s, but with an outcome I would not wish upon anyone.

My story is about decisions, actions and choices – ones that don’t provide a second chance. The message I want you to take home today is this: Always think about how your choices and decisions will impact you, your family and your friends. Can the consequences be life altering or even life ending? Remember, it CAN happen to you.

Friday, May 10, 2002 – Tonight is prom night. Kimberly is a junior at Pope High School. Even though Kimberly is not interested in going to prom, her friend Brett talks her into it. The afternoon and evening is filled with prom pictures at the house, dinner, prom and a get together at our house afterwards.

Sunday, May 12th – It is Mother’s Day and Kimberly 17th birthday. The day is extra special because Kimberly was born on Mother’s day! Kimberly chooses her favorite Chinese restaurant for dinner instead of her usual birthday dinner at her favorite Italian restaurant. After an early dinner, she meets up with friends.

The next 4 weeks are filled with end of school activities and exams. Kimberly plans on working full time this summer to pay on her car, insurance and save for school. She plans on graduating in December, so she can get a jump on her core classes. She is planning on becoming a teacher and can’t wait to move to the next stage of her life. The only reason she is staying is to be the Head Wrestling Manager her senior year.

Wednesday, June 12th, starts out as a typical summer’s day. Kimberly called me about 10 am that morning to ask if she could spend the night out at her friend Gina’s house. After some discussion, I agreed, only if she stayed home that weekend and spent some time with the family. Tyler had a baseball tournament that started that night and lasted through the weekend. Little did we know that as we sat watching Tyler play baseball, our daughter was dying.

Kimberly worked that day at Kroger. What we didn’t know is that she got off early (around 5 pm) and planned to head to the lake for the evening with friends. She didn’t have our permission. It turns out most of the kids in the caravan were kids we didn’t know – with the exception of about 3 who we had met a couple of times. We found out later that a lot of Kimberly’s friends knew where she was going – they had been invited too but couldn’t go for various reasons. Why did Kimberly lie to us?

There are a lot of things that happened between 5 and 8:41 that we will never know. There are several different versions of the story. Here is what we understand:

■Four cars of kids left for Lake Arrowhead around 6:30 pm, Kimberly’s Honda Civic, a Toyota Forerunner, a red car, and one other. Some of the kids planned on spending the night, others were planning on driving home later in the evening. Most parents did not know where their teenagers were headed.
■Kimberly’s car broke down and the kids “hung out” on 575 for about an hour deciding what to do. An officer stopped and asked them to move along as they were creating a disturbance on the highway.
Several kids went to get oil for Kimberly’s car – which did not help the engine to start.
■Everyone hopped into cars and headed for the lake, leaving Kimberly’s car behind. What was the plan? Kimberly was a control freak, why did she leave her car? I have been told that Kimberly’s “choice” of cars to get into was based on the fact that the red car’s occupants were smoking dope and that she chose the SUV for that reason.
■When Kimberly’s car broke down that evening (the engine locked because it had run out of oil apparently) she only had one thing in mind – I’m going to have fun with my friends. I wonder if she ever thought of calling us. She certainly had plenty of time. Kimberly always kept in touch – and knew we would help her out that night. She also probably knew that she would be in trouble – she was not where she was supposed to be. I am sure that was not the 1st time, unfortunately it was the last time. If only she had called us….
The car accident occurred at 8:41 pm, just a minute or two after she got in the other car. The first officer on the scene was the same officer that had asked them to “move along” a short time before.

Kimberly died instantly. She had multiple skull fractures, a broken nose and broken legs. Where she was sitting in the car took the brunt of the impact. Kimberly had the lap belt of the seat belt on, but when it hit the tree, the impact caused her seat to break so it was as if she had nothing to hold her in. The police don’t believe that having had the shoulder belt on would have helped save her. Why did she have to die?

The driver of the Toyota Forerunner saw something out of the corner of her eye, which caused her to swerve. Because of her lack of experience in driving an SUV, she overcorrected when her car started to go off the road. The car flipped over with the over correction, hit a tree, and then flipped on its side (Kimberly’s side) and hit the second tree. The impact of hitting the 3rd tree stopped the car – 2 dead, 4 injured, and many lives shattered forever. Kimberly was very particular about whom she drove with, yet this time she got in the car with someone she barely knew.

Kimberly’s injuries were so severe they wouldn’t let me see her. I never got to hug or kiss her goodbye. Why did this happen to her – she was so full of life and knew exactly what she wanted out of life? Her two brothers adore her and look up to her. These past 5 years have been very difficult for them, living without their big sister. We are a very close family, and it is very obvious as we set the dinner table for 4 instead of 5. Family pictures will never include my whole family again.

We didn’t get called until 11:50 pm that night, by the driver of the red car – her sister was in the car with Kimberly – that is how she knew about the accident. She also knew that one of the boys in the car was dead. His parents had been notified around 11 pm. Since we had not been notified of her whereabouts, I tried to call Grady Hospital where 2 of the kids had been taken. We found out later that her wallet was in the red car so the police didn’t know who she was. Remember her choice in car? I couldn’t get through, so Jay and I got Josh & Tyler out of bed and jumped in the car. We had to find Kimberly!

We started making phone calls to find her and find out where the accident had occurred as we were driving out of our subdivision. Eventually we were transferred to the Canton Police who recommended we go home. At that time they realized who we were and didn’t want to tell us over the phone. After going home and trying Grady and North Fulton Hospitals again and again, we called the Canton Police back. At that time we were told an officer was on the way to our house. As her brothers cried and prayed for her safety, her dad and I knew – but we still kept up hope for the boys and for ourselves. How can we comprehend the fact that our daughter was dead?

At 1:15 am on 6/13, a Canton policeman (the same officer who stopped on the side of the road and arrived at the scene of the accident) arrived at our home to tell us that our daughter did not suffer and was not coming home. He then began calling family and friends, so we wouldn’t be alone. By 3 am, our house was full of people trying to comprehend this tragedy. Most of it is a blur to me.

There are parts of the whole summer I still can’t fully remember – a sure sign that you are in shock. As Josh said to me one day, Mommy why did this have to happen to our family? That is a question I will never be able to answer.

If only she hadn’t lied, if only she’d called us. If only she didn’t get off work early. The “if onlys” go on for many weeks until you realize you are driving yourself crazy. The “if onlys” won’t bring Kimberly back. We also keep asking “Why”? Why did Kimberly die? Why did she not call? Why did she lie? How many other times did she lie to us? Why did we let her go out that night? Why didn’t her friends keep her from going that day? Answers we will never have. Questions continue to keep us up at night. The choices Kimberly made that day seemed innocent and harmless at the time.

Kimberly was a loving daughter, involved teenager, a great big sister and a hard worker. She had worked at Kroger since she was 15, did parties at Sports-a-rama, bought her own car, and paid her own insurance.

We loved Kimberly with all of our hearts. Kimberly was a good kid who cared about others and had a purpose in life. She offered so much to so many people in her short life. This became obvious to us as the nearly a thousand people came to pay their last respects at her funeral and with the hundreds of cards and letters we received. This was quite overwhelming to us, but brought us great comfort. A friend created a web site in her memory that people still write messages on. Two scholarships have been established in her memory (one for wrestling and one for aspiring teachers). The Pope Junior Wrestling Tournament was renamed to the Kim Andrews Classic. Jay and I had a memorial made with a poem Kimberly had written. It is in the front of the administration building at Pope.

Kimberly didn’t graduate from Pope – the graduation sign in the neighborhood said “In Memory Of” next to her name. The impact of her death is indescribable. There is emptiness in our lives that will never go away.

Never again will I enjoy a late night talk with Kimberly – those “mother/daughter till 1 am” talks. Never again will she be in the stands cheering Josh and Tyler on. Never again will her dad coach her in softball. The “firsts” don’t end when the 1st anniversary of your child’s death occurs. They go on forever. There is a knot in my chest every time someone asks me how many children I have – 3, I answer. It is the next question that is difficult – how old are they? Josh & Tyler are easy. It is always difficult to say that my daughter is forever 17. Both boys “age her”. If someone asks them about their family, they say they have a sister who is 22. The reality is that Josh, who is 16, and Tyler who is 14 will pass her in age very soon. No longer will I be able to say “When Kimberly was your age”.

Both boys ask questions and try to remember their sister. They were only 9 and 11 at the time. Josh is the one who realizes he will now be the first to go to college and wasn’t able to visit his older sister at school like his friends have been able to. He understands our apprehension of him driving and that he is not allowed in the car with another teenager!

Tyler has written several stories about Kimberly titled “My Hero”. “As I look back on my life and I think of a person who is a hero, I think of one person…my sister. My sister Kimberly showed me what a hero is. Kimberly was always supportive by being at my matches or games to cheer me on. As I was about to step onto the wrestling mat or the baseball diamond, I would get letters of encouragement from her. They made me want to do my best. There was never a time when she missed a game of mine. Kimberly was my cheerleader. Kimberly was a very loving person. She taught me how to care for someone. In her mind, family and friendship were number one. If I needed help, she would be there to help. I was inspired by the way she would always be helping someone in time of need. She made me feel like I was her number one priority. There was never a time when I don’t think about how she impacted my life. I just wish she were here to help me through the rest of my life”.

We miss her infectious laugh, her beautiful smile, her love, her stubbornness, her presence – everything about her!

Somehow, I still don’t know how, we have survived this devastating loss. We continue to take things one day at a time. Our perspective on what is important in life has changed. We don’t sweat the small stuff.

Kimberly was supposed to have enjoyed her senior year in high school, date, graduate from college, teach, get married, have children of her own, and be an example for her brothers. Kimberly and I were supposed to get through the hard part and be grownup friends. Kimberly used to always say, “Mom let me make my mistakes”. My answer to her was “My job as a parent is to keep you from making those life altering mistakes”. In my head, I know there was nothing I could have done to prevent this; in my heart I will always feel that I failed Kimberly by not protecting her. It wasn’t supposed to happen to Kimberly either!

■There were no drugs or alcohol involved in this accident.
■There was no speeding involved in this accident.
■No one was charged in this accident.
■There was a driver with little to no experience in driving an SUV.
■There was an SUV that flips with added weight and over correction.
Four families have gone on with their lives. Two families continue grieving.

You NEVER get over the loss of a child…I miss Kimberly every minute of every day.

As parents, we spend a lot of time making sure our children are making the right choices. We talk to you about drugs, alcohol and sex. We provide you with cell phones so you are just a phone call away. We want to meet your friends and your friends’ parents. We gain a false sense of security with our “good” kids. Car accidents only happen to “bad” kids making wrong choices, right?

Next time you get in a car, ask yourself these questions:

■Do I know if they drive responsibly?
■Am I “allowed” to be in the car with this person, either as the driver or a passenger?
■Am I where I am supposed to be – and if not, what if my parents found out – would they be proud of my decision?
■Is a friend lying for me – what would my family’s reaction be if they found out – especially if something bad happened to me?
■Am I or the person who is driving – distracted, too tired to be behind the wheel, driving too fast, or driving recklessly?
■Am I responsible enough to take the keys away from a friend, because they are not capable of driving?
The answers to these questions and your split second decision could be the difference between life and death.

I know most of you are here today because your parents made you come to this. I hope my story makes you realize that it is because they love you. Don’t make your family go through what Jay, Josh, Tyler and I live with every day and forever.

If I can get through to you, Kimberly’s death will not have been in vain. Remember Kimberly and all of the others like her. Please be mature and drive safely and wisely.